Duchess Meghan is in the US today, supposedly to watch Serena Williams play tennis. But she may also take a meeting with her PR team at Sunshine Sachs and the US-based agent, manager, and lawyer she has retained to help guide her future Hollywood career.
Meg didn't have much of a career before marrying into the British Royal Family, except for her minor role on cable drama Suits, but she's apparently hoping to do better now that she has the Duchess of Sussex brand name behind her.
What showbiz roles would you like to see Meghan take on?
But would she be suitable as a game show host?
Hosting game shows is an easy and lucrative gig - generally it's just a few days' work per month for a very attractive salary, the sort of schedule that would appeal to any member of the Royal Family.
That said, game show hosts are generally men, not women. And Meghan would probably want to keep all the prizes for herself.
Unfortunately, talk show hosts have to be able to listen to other people - it's a key part of the job.
Listening to other people isn't Meg's strength: she generally just waits, somewhat impatiently, until it's her turn to talk.
Let's just cross this one off the list right away.
After all, Meg can't be Hot Girl #2 forever, and she'd be a great fit for a remake of Fatal Attraction.
The problem is that Close is a gifted and nuanced actress, which Meghan is not.
Close does both serious evil lady roles and comic evil lady roles, but Meg doesn't have enough talent for the former or self-awareness for the latter.
Some bad actors make a living by acknowledging they are bad actors - William Shatner comes to mind - but Meg would never. Just never.
For generations, horror movies have been hiring fair-to-middling actors and actresses to serve as the victims of its furry monsters and men in rubber masks.
Meg would be perfect for this. They could set her up in some Instagram influencer-type setting - one of those tea parties her friends are always posting about, avocado toast for all! - and then have a bad guy (casting call for an actor who looks suspiciously like Prince William) burst through the French doors and create bloody havoc.
Screaming, swearing, and bulging her eyes would all be a part of Meg's script, and she's publicly shown she can handle the part.
What do you think?
Meg didn't have much of a career before marrying into the British Royal Family, except for her minor role on cable drama Suits, but she's apparently hoping to do better now that she has the Duchess of Sussex brand name behind her.
What showbiz roles would you like to see Meghan take on?
Game show host?
Meg has experience on game shows - she started out famously as one of 26 miniskirted suitcase girls on Deal or No Deal.But would she be suitable as a game show host?
Hosting game shows is an easy and lucrative gig - generally it's just a few days' work per month for a very attractive salary, the sort of schedule that would appeal to any member of the Royal Family.
That said, game show hosts are generally men, not women. And Meghan would probably want to keep all the prizes for herself.
Stunt casting on a sitcom?
Stunt casting - which The Guardian defines as getting a distractingly famous person to pop up in a small TV or movie role - would also fit Meghan's busy schedule well.
Stunt casting goes as far back as the 1950s sitcom I Love Lucy, which featured then-hot country singer Tennessee Ernie Ford in a story arc.
More recently, the sitcom Will and Grace made a habit of stunt casting: Britney Spears, Cher, JLo and Madonna all stopped by for single episodes. Unfortunately, the reboot of the show was recently cancelled, because it aligned well with Meghan's political viewpoints.
If Meghan does go the sitcom route, my guess is that she will turn up on one of Tyler Perry's sitcoms. Perry is a good friend of Oprah and Gayle King, and Meghan could use an appearance on say, the upcoming comedy-drama Sistas to highlight her support in the Black community.
(I'm not sure how much support Meg has in the Black community - like Dave Chapelle said of Jussie Smolett, they may be "supporting her by being silent" - but that's a matter for the Lipstick Alley ladies to discuss, not me.)
Talk show host?
Meg would love to be a talk show host, an Ellen DeGeneres-type figure with a brand that generates lots of money.Unfortunately, talk show hosts have to be able to listen to other people - it's a key part of the job.
Listening to other people isn't Meg's strength: she generally just waits, somewhat impatiently, until it's her turn to talk.
Let's just cross this one off the list right away.
Movie actress?
Meg's ultimate dream is probably to be an Oscar-winning movie actress, perhaps taking on the evil lady roles Glenn Close is aging out of.After all, Meg can't be Hot Girl #2 forever, and she'd be a great fit for a remake of Fatal Attraction.
The problem is that Close is a gifted and nuanced actress, which Meghan is not.
Close does both serious evil lady roles and comic evil lady roles, but Meg doesn't have enough talent for the former or self-awareness for the latter.
Some bad actors make a living by acknowledging they are bad actors - William Shatner comes to mind - but Meg would never. Just never.
My recommendation
There's one genre where Meg would fit in just fine, however, and which I think matches her talent well.For generations, horror movies have been hiring fair-to-middling actors and actresses to serve as the victims of its furry monsters and men in rubber masks.
Meg would be perfect for this. They could set her up in some Instagram influencer-type setting - one of those tea parties her friends are always posting about, avocado toast for all! - and then have a bad guy (casting call for an actor who looks suspiciously like Prince William) burst through the French doors and create bloody havoc.
Screaming, swearing, and bulging her eyes would all be a part of Meg's script, and she's publicly shown she can handle the part.
What do you think?
Comments
You have no idea how upset I am that I didn't come up with that phrase myself!
But I don't think she wants to be President. I don't know what she wants, except it appears a life as a senior member of the British Royal Family isn't it. So tell me again why she married Prince Harry?
My two cents--if the Sussexes move EVEN PART TIME to America, they are OFF the gravy train. Their job is to represent Her Majesty within the UK and around the world. If they start spending even long weekends in the US, kick them To. The. Curb. (or Kerb, as it might be spelt in England)
My snarky movie casting for MM would be a remake of Showgirls. So so close to the reality of her pre-marital life! Lol.
https://skippyv20.tumblr.com/
and scrolled way down are alot of pics and video's of MM sitting next to SW mom and MM is trying to talk to her and she is being ignored. Her reaction is priceless. Looks like she wants to cry.
https://skippyv20.tumblr.com/
but scrolled scrolled scrolled way way way down, to "London Scoop" and the "i am still skippy" post. very small print but it seems to talk about MM blackmailing PH and how the wedding almost didn't take place (she was made an offer and turned it down). Talks bout her handlers, how the plan was to get dirt on PH and she took over the plan, against their wishes, and married him. Hard to read but very interesting take.
I think the PM and the royals receive the same ‘no customs’ treatment. My guess is if it’s Meghan coming in, even on one of those commercial flights that is all first class, she doesn’t go through customs. She’s flanked by a UK security detail, and I doubt that any UK customs official wants to be the person who says, “Her luggage needs to be searched and sniffed by the dogs.” Not likely to happen. They probably want to keep their jobs. She could probably bring back a kilo of high-grade coke with no problems.
I remember the palace did this with Diana. They started using staffers or close friends of the royals as vehicles to get information out into the public forums without having to take direct responsibility for it as they would if they were directly quoted in a speech or interview or through an official press release.
Meghan has basically been doing a form of this stuff herself. But she is releasing false info to attempt to manipulate the RF. The letter allegedly written by Harry probably came from Meghan or someone from her PR or legal team because she was dying to get the word out to the international press that she and Harry were a couple. Likely she wasn’t being bothered to the extent claimed in Harry’s unprecedented statement.
She also did it last fall with the “Doria has been invited to spend Christmas with the queen” story that never materialized.
Same with the story about how HM was going to throw Meghan a birthday tea and H&M would have an entire wing to themselves at Balmoral. That sure didn’t happen either.
By doing this, they are probably hoping to lessen the accusations of racism that Meghan and Harry will hurl at the RF. Narcissists go nuclear in any sort of breakup, especially when their behavior is the root cause. They will NEVER take any true responsibility for their toxic actions. If Harry and Meghan eventually divorce, the battle will make the McCartney-Mills divorce look like a church picnic.
Without a royal title and no Harry to prop her up as a celebrity, I don’t think Meghan would have many Hollywood or famous friends. They are just as shallow as Meghan is.
Another great style icon was/is Babe Paley. Sheer perfection. Not that many photos around comparatively speaking. You just have to enjoy the ones she did leave. Apart from her duties as a hostess at the odd spectacular party, she kept herself to herself.
Meghan did look reasonable on the red carpet during her Suits days, by her standards. At the time I thought she managed to do it herself. Bringing along whoever that stylist was would have been worth any number of PR companies on retainer. I don't mean it was exceptional, but miles better than anything since. I guess she still had to take advice in those days though. Bang goes that idea.
I think for a spectator and a contenders best friend , she was too I've the top. And by that , I mean her behaviour was show-offey. If she wanted to act so much, she could have just as well been overly dramatic with her cheering, been tense and flustered, even crying or consoling Serena's mum. But she is self centered and whole point of her being there was to be seen. And she did that brilliantly. This might have been Serena's big day, but it will forever be remembered as the time when Meg's dropped everything to fly last minute to see her best friend play.
I also suspect she wanted to be in news get people talking before the tour.
The tour is meant to be a formal affair. But she wants to drive the narrative and make it about her. And the popularity can be controlled and increaiby tapping into the US market. The Americans don't get the fornalilty and the purpose of a Royal tour - namely to promote the monarchy, that it's teltesentinv the queen, catching up on the UKs work and charities in that country etc. Outside of the UK that message is lost and honestly, it's a little difficult to.make others understamd the official nature of their work as well.
That's why she does these US appearances just before the tours, so that people get interested in her legend before she goes on official tours. Then she can make it's all about her clothes, her appearances etc. It's like the carefully orchestrayed humanitarian work she did preHarry. She sees as the same. Only the palace is arranging it all for her, and not her own PR agency.
If you notice carefully, she has also lost weight, her hair is better, her face looks touched up. She clearly hit a salon first thing on landing. And any good dermatologist or plastic surgeon will be able to bet their ass that she has had little touch ups done. It's good work and very subtle, and in a few weeks will show the actual results.
This US trip will also be very carefully planned to make her seem normal and low-key, no extravagant designer clothes, subtle rrwear jewellary, always smiling and hugging people around her. This is an SS job after all.
As for the yoga and no photos I think she made demands for no phones like at Wimbledon. Or it's just another lie. I am not sure what 'organic' yoga even is.
Perhaps she will do a weight watchers or yoga tape, getting back in shape after a "pregnancy".
She may take a tip from Paris Hilton and the Kardashians and release a sex tape. Zzzz.
I think she will cling to her royal position as long as possible then "trade up" for a wealthy man. Perhaps a fashion or media executive who could support her ambitions.
Feminist icon my bleepity bleep bleep.