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What Harry should say: A totally fake news interview



Sitting on an embroidered couch in a receiving room at Windsor Palace, The Duke of Sussex exchanges a smile with his four-month-old son, Archie Harrison.

"He's wonderful," he says, holding the baby on his lap and enjoying its healthy grip around his index finger. "I don't want anyone thinking I love him any less because of the manner in which he came to us. This is my son."

A mature man and a father

Harry is no longer the little boy who walked behind his mother's coffin or the muscular soldier who volunteered for the front lines in Afghanistan. This is a stronger, more mature man - and a father.

"When we married, Meghan and I were eager to hit the ground running quickly, and that included starting a family," he says in measured tones. "The truth is, both of us had experienced medical problems which affected our fertility. I don't want to be more explicit than that. 


"But I can say that the ordinary way of bringing a child into the world would have been difficult for us."


Without consulting his family, Harry and his new wife contracted the services of a specialist in surrogate births, who matched them with an experienced professional surrogate. Ten months later, in March 2019, Archie Harrison was born. 



Stress with William

The unconventional method of adding to their family had not been approved by anyone in the Royal Family, and the family was slow to accept it.

In particular, his brother William was upset by Meghan's insistence on wearing a false pregnancy belly whilst carrying out Royal engagements.


Harry takes a deep breath before speaking about his brother. 
"William takes his position very seriously," he says carefully. "He did not like the idea of deceiving anybody. So he was unhappy that Meghan did what she did."

In general, Harry feels his wife has been misunderstood. "She is an actress, a trained actress. Actors learn to see their body as an instrument, which is what she was doing. She wanted everyone to experience the joy of a royal pregnancy, as we were experiencing it."


By contrast, his father Prince Charles was supportive after learning of the couple's choice.


"Pa has been there for both of us, and we are so grateful," Harry said.



The question of titles

Will Archie be part of the Royal Family?  

"Archie is my son, so of course he must be part of the family," Harry says. "We want him to get to know his cousins, because growing up my cousins have been some of my closest and most loyal friends."

But Harry understands the edict that children must be born "of the body" of a royal wife in order to be in line for the throne. 

"It is an outmoded rule, and I think it should be abolished," he says. "But I understand that it was in force when Archie was born, so I do not expect him to be part of the line of succession. 

"This is also why he has not been given a title, which is fine with me. My cousins Zara and Peter have no titles and they are very much part of the Royal Family."

A growing family

The Duke remains committed to his wife and to creating his own family, which will ultimately be based at the still-unfinished Frogmore Cottage.

"We hope to have at least one more child in the same manner," he says. 


-------------------

The above text is totally fake - it is solely my idea of what Harry should say to begin putting this whole sad epsisode to rest. Any comments or input? 


Comments

Jen said…
@Elle... I saw that comment about Beyonce being a fan. I laughed out loud, literally. It is such BS. She was a two-bit actress on a cable TV show, I highly doubt Beyonce even knew who she was until she would became engaged to Harry.
Jen said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said…
I know, right? And MM better watch it because that Beyhive swarms.
MaLissa said…
LOL :) I'll pass on the G&T's cause I can't drink gin so I'll take a tumbler of Glenfiddich instead :)
hardyboys said…
Nutty you should be nominated for a Nobel prize for best blog ever...so much smut combined with such wonderful input...I think your followers are generally women who are all questioning wtf is going on...is Kate taking the fall for MM tomorrow? Interesting question I think yes bc she loves Harry and he probably asked her so they could debunk rampant rumours and shes coming across as Mother Theresa right now. MM will be dressed appropriately act like a saint tomorrow bc shes got a lot riding on this...I think if she fks up next 3-4 public appearances shes toast like anyone on probation. It is so wierd how this is unravelling. I think Thomas is so sad and Samantha is like ha ha I dont even have to publish this book.. this nutjob is finishing herself for me..
Anonymous said…
Well, I will throw in here and say that I don't believe MM can dress perfectly and behave respectfully. The best predictor of someone's future behavior is their past behavior, and she has offended so many with her lies, rudeness, insincerity, pretension, hypocrisy, manipulation, trashy behavior, selfishness, narcissism, disrespect, inanity, inappropriateness, lack of tact and taste and dignity, and downright nastiness, but otherwise, I like her (<<lame joke). I think Kate will do her best, but markle is markle, and that's not going to change. She cannot get new body language and give up her hate of Kate overnight (or probably ever).

As for Nutty's blog, I agree. I think that the reason I was so drawn to talk about this situation is because I felt so gaslighted by the media about how wonderful MM is and how in love they were... and yet, I saw with my own eyes. As her behavior has gotten worse and worse, the gaslighting has become more and more absurd, the BRFs responses are maddening, and these are people who we've grown up with - people we always thought we could respect - and they've got the SoHo riding shotgun in a carriage with the future queens. We know what we see, and we can try to rationalize that spectacle de merde with hair extensions, but she is what she is, and I am grateful to be able to share my perceptions with a thoughtful group of women who validate reality and make me laugh at the same time.

Another round of Contemptinis, damn it, and keep them coming, because Wimbledon and the spectacle of spectacles happens soon...
MaLissa said…
She can be "Brand Sussex" as long as she's in the RF. If she divorces him, "Brand Sussex" belongs to the Crown and can't be used by her. I mean it's a title for her but isn't a brand. This is what I don't understand, she can't take the title cause it doesn't belong to her yet she decides to make it "her brand".
Now! said…
Glad you enjoy it!

I also noticed that the comments are now moderated. Really slows down the conversation.
Now! said…
Hi Trudy2! Three theories about Sam:

1) She has health problems and isn't up to a media fight about Meg at the moment. As I recall, Sam is living with MS.

2) She's trying to figure out how to monetize what she has about Meg. I assume no traditional publisher wanted her book, and self-publishing is tricky for a first-time author. Wouldn't be good if the DM just stole the most salacious bits and no one bought the book. And then Sam would have nothing left to sell.

3) Her daughter Noel, who may actually be MM's daughter from a teenage relationship, asked her not to reveal that fact.

Those are my thoughts!
Now! said…
Hi TTucker! Are you suggesting that the UK media will bring down Harry and Meg?

Back in the day, of course, they would have put together one of their patented undercover sting operations, the ones that caught Fergie, Andrew, and Sophie Wessex in the past. I believe these are illegal under the new media regulations, however.

Too bad, because it would have been very entertaining to see some reporter from the Sun dress up as a representative from a US lifestyle brand and catch Meg disclose her merching plans on video.
BigFanUSA said…
I watched it after seeing your comment. Very interesting indeed! Basically said that Rachel was not intended to appear at the polo game but showed up for a very brief amount of time in what appeared to be a house dress, like she had gotten up and rushed out of the house in a very hurried and spontaneous manner. Also, that she showed up because she wanted to mark her territory in front of a significant ex partner of harry's who was rumored to be in attendance (Chelsy Davy [my personal favorite ex!]).
Natalier said…
Hi Nutty, I've enjoyed reading your blog tremendously - always very sensible and astute observation from you and the comments here are intelligent and do not go into really weirdo speculations. I want to add that not only has Meghan borrowed from Camilla, she also copied Cressida Bonas's "noise" in describing gossips. Cressida first used this Teen Vogue and I was surprised that Meghan was nearly verbatim in what she said. I suspect that Meghan had read up all about Cressida (and prob Chelsy) for the longest time. In the early days before the wedding, I was surprised when out of the blue, a new anon (sounded matured) came out of the blue at user-sam's blog (mainly Cressida's supporters) and asked why we still supported Cressida and what was her appeal? My instinct told me that this person was fishing for information and Meghan flashed across my mind. Even before that, Lainey did a hatchet job on Cressida in her new movie and at that time, I was wondering why would Lainey be interested in her, just another new unknown actress and former gf of Prince Harry. Lainey put Cressida down whenever she could at other times with snide remarks and again, why the interest in her? It wasn't until I saw the pic of Lainey with Meghan that I understood. Well, Cressida has made sure the world knows she only has eyes for a different Harry so I think Chelsy will be the next one Meghan's feels threatened by. I think Meghan was threatened by Cressida's good looks, upper class background and her easy access to mag covers, plays and a movie - everything she had always wanted but could not get before Harry came along. With Chelsy, her long history of being Harry's first true love and her smartness - these are the threats to Meghan. Also the fact that she is single and looked distraught at wedding - I fear for Chelsy because the press can be so nasty.
Anonymous said…
My personal fav, too, @BigFan! And when I read that they had a tearful phone call before the wedding and saw her face, it was definitely a sign that Harry should've stopped with the markle. He was just in heat, and IGI, many men have been in heat for her, but she's such a wretch, and in unguarded moments, not even pretty (rather haggard and cruel, IMO). So, who knows if Chelsy was there, but it's odd to me that MM would be so threatened if she and PH are soulmates who tripped into each other's stars.

I just wonder if Celt News is halfway reputable.

And I just have to add. Poor Catherine. I feel sick for her to have to spend the day that she would otherwise really enjoy but that instead has to be spent with someone so awful and who hates her so much. I know I don't know Kate, but I know that feeling of being forced into a miserable, awkward situation.
OzManda said…
Elle watching the celt news clip of polo now - brings up some interesting points!
Ozmanda said…
Hikari - I agree, while Piers is a level 10 douche - he actually makes sense good points.
Hikari said…
I marvel at Smegs' tireless energy/industry in finding so many sources to poach from. So many people to copy; so little time . . . Now she's got plenty of time, but before . . when she was working on a TV series, and merching and doing the Tig and all the yachting and SM'ing . . . I have a full-time job and a cat, and it's all I can do to even get to the laundromat, much less stalk people relentlessly via SM and memorize everything they've ever said or worn.

I suspect that she has never slept much, if at all, through a lot of chemical assistance to maintain her maniac energy levels. Either that, or she's a vampire, an explanation that is gaining more credence with me by the day. There weren't any reflections in the mirrors at the christening. Hmm!
TTucker said…
I know ... but there are legal, ethical and journalistic angles to it. Journalists would only use hidden cameras and micros or concealment of identity in exceptional cases, only if there was no other way of gathering evidence, if the intention is to investigate or demonstrate abuse of trust or illegal behaviour, and after agreement with the Chief Editor (media have codes of ethics). It may otherwise backlash and affect the credibility of the reporting and trust in journalism. Or provoke compassion for the "victim" instead of critical thinking.

In the case of MM, the media would do it only if it is in defense of the public interest and it was impossible to gather information by other means. Not sure about the merching (she probably uses intermediaries) but for ex. the Frogmore renovations, the line of succesion to the British throne or Meg's overexpenditure may motivate more than one investigative journalist.

Other media, e.g. social media or Internet-based media may go ahead and deviate (we see a lot of deviations to journalistic principles everywhere), but it wouldn't be the same if a website discloses information than if The Guardian does it.
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