How do you hold a moonbeam in your ...

 I was reading some of the parts from the new book and and thinking about all the little flashing yellow lights released so far.

Like the troubles of all the assistants written off as just Americans can just be direct so it is a style of behavior.  Well, maybe?  But humiliation towards someone  is not the same as being direct.  Direct can be a little abrupt without a please or thank you but it is more about getting to the heart of solving a problem.  Humiliation is just mean.  

A polite way would be: I wonder if you tried reversing those two parts to see if that can get them to fit?
A direct way would be: Reverse those two parts and they ought to fit.
A humiliating way would be: I can't believe you are so stupid that you need me to tell you this.  Reverse those two and it will work!  

It does, however, give some ammunition to the charges of bullying.  

Or "control the press or I am leaving you."

Yeah good luck with that one (this isn't still the time of King Henry VIII where the mere comment of life after the king's death was treasonous).  There are some press rules in place but it's kind of like trying to control the tide.  You can put up some barrier bars but water is a force of nature and nature still follows nature's internal laws and remolds the manmade to its liking.  The result may not be as intended.  You are far better off allowing X so that you don't have to worry endlessly about the rest of the time.  It's like using the magic words to help both sides briefly before moving on.  Maintaining some control.

Linked is that one of the long standing issues appears to be that they actually do want press but only positive press and bury any with a whiff of negative (described as being protection).  But that's not how life works in a parliamentary democracy or a democratic republic.  You risk hearing or seeing things you would rather not but the flip side is that you are allowed your own opinion toward the unwanted.  The same cannot be said for a totalitarian state.  And control there only works to your favor if you are part of the controlling decision making power team.

Regardless, any statement which is a variation of: "Do this or else" - is by nature, a threat (a bullying remark).  When people tell you who they are, listen (or so the phrase goes).

Endless shows of required fealty.  Excessive displays of behavior (from loyalty to we are so in love) often tend to actually be counter productive to the goal because they stem from an inner insecurity about the situation.  If it worked (to receive that assurance), it would have worked the first time and not needed infusions.

Or needing to display power like I will be your boss.  The most powerful people actually rarely need to remind people of the extent of the power.  Everyone knows so one doesn't need to threaten or coerce for cooperation.  Cooperative people are far less likely to want to stab you in the back but people who feel threatened,  scared as how they have no control are more likely to take some kind of action to regain some autonomy.  The victim might not feel safe about responding appropriately or inappropriately at that time or even later.  So often delayed reaction comes out as a big way instead of a smaller less disruptive one.  And to do so at all often means any action will be viewed as a negative.